Start a conversation about suicide
Learn how to create a safe and open environment for a young person to speak about mental health and suicide.
Remain close
You don’t need to have all the answers. When a young person opens up to you, the best way to respond is with curiosity and openness. And remember to remain close to them. By being there for a young person, you’ll empower them to help themselves, build resilience, and help them find ways to cope that have an impact.
The main thing when you're building a supportive relationship with a young person is to stay connected and consistently available - interested in them, able to see things from their point of view and be a solid role model who is willing to help.
If a young person is at immediate risk of harm or is not safe, call 999 or take them to A&E.
The NHS is clear that a mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a physical one. You will not be wasting anyone’s time.
What you can do to help
Make checking in easy and simple
Once a young person has opened up and recognised you as someone to trust, make it easy for them to do so in the future. Give them clear ways and times to reach you.
Check in from your end too. Make sure you don’t leave everything on them. Ask things like, "how are you doing now, do you fancy a check in?", "how did you get on with XYZ?", "let’s catch up, I’d love to hear how you’re doing" - it doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it does need to be regular and easy. Listen to the audio clip for more guidance on how to do this.
Validate how they’re feeling and let them know you get it
Even if their worries feel small to you, if something is making a young person feel rubbish or struggle with their mental health, then it’s valid. Let them know that their feelings are ok. Empathise with their situation and assure them that things can get better.
Keep the conversations going, this shouldn’t be a one-off
Ask open questions that show you want to understand. Listen to the audio clip for more guidance on how to do this.
"What is your biggest worry in life right now?"
"Who would you talk to if you were worried about your mental health?"
"What I can do to help you?"
Try to avoid these things
Don’t think you have to have all the answers
Young people are facing a whole host of challenges - and some of them won’t be even a little bit familiar to you. It’s fine to say you don’t know and ask questions to help get up to speed.
The key is to be honest and open. Give them space to explain and then offer practical advice to find support together. Young people want to be spoken to as an adult, even if they’re not quite there yet.
Don’t compare them to other young people
Your young person's struggles are individual. It’s not helpful to compare them with siblings, classmates or other young people.
Each and every young person will manage their mental health and the challenges they face differently. Listen to them, ask questions and treat them as an individual - even if you think somebody else is coping better or worse under the same circumstances.
Don’t make assumptions
Their personality or persona isn’t a reliable way to decide how they’re doing mentally. Quiet, loud, social, introverted - all young people struggle with their mental health at times, and people can seem ok on the outside and still be really struggling. It’s important to remain connected and ask rather than assume.
Get vital emails full of life-saving skills
Sign up to get practical suicide-prevention support. Straight to your inbox.