Respond to suicidal thoughts
Learn what to do and how to react if a young person opens up about suicidal thoughts or self harm.
Check-in
If a young person has opened up about suicide, or you’re noticing behaviour that is worrying, it’s vital to take action to keep them safe. Check in with them as soon as possible. Get in touch with parents, carers or other relevant caregivers and share your concerns.
There is a difference between suicidal thoughts and actions, and it’s important to find out exactly what your young person is going through so you can offer the right support.
Suicidal thoughts may include talk about hopelessness, worthlessness, being a burden or wishing they didn’t exist. The thoughts might range in intensity, they may be fleeting or they may come and go.
It’s important to establish whether a young person has plans to act on suicidal thoughts. If they do, take immediate steps to keep them safe. Find out how here.
When someone is planning to act, they may express their thoughts more persistently, with a sense of urgency or determination. They are more likely to have a specific plan, including the method, time, or place they intend to carry it out and they may also have taken steps to prepare, like writing a note or acquiring items.
Once you are sure a young person is safe from immediate harm, take steps to keep them safe.
If a young person is at immediate risk of harm or is not safe, call 999 or take them to A&E.
The NHS is clear that a mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a physical one. You will not be wasting anyone’s time.
What you can do to help
Stay calm
You may not feel it inside, but seeing you react calmly can help create a sense of stability and safety for a young person.
Take action
Make sure they get the support they need. This might be from family or from professionals. If a young person has plans to act on suicidal thoughts get immediate support. Go to our emergency page for more information on what to do in a crisis.
Stay with them
Even if they're not planning to act on their thoughts, they need support to cope. Don't leave until you are sure they are safe.
Remove any potential means of self-harm, such as medication, sharp objects etc. Contact emergency services or take them to the nearest A&E if you can’t keep them safe or de-escalate the situation.
Make sure they are safe
Ensure they're in a safe location at home or with responsible guardians. If they are alone, go to them or make sure somebody else is available to step in and help.
Try to avoid these things
Don’t assume someone has spoken to them
If something is wrong, make sure you take the lead and get the young person the help they need. You may be the first person to have noticed something is up, or the only person equipped with the knowledge to help.
Don’t say this...
"You’re not thinking of hurting yourself are you?"
"You’re not thinking of doing something daft like killing yourself are you?’’
These statements suggest it's not ok to have suicidal thoughts. They could deter someone from opening up and encourage them to pretend things are fine. Listen to the audio clip for more guidance.
Don’t minimise the situation
What they're facing is really difficult and suicidal thoughts and feelings are always serious. Validate how they're feeling and let them know you are there to help.
Fill your Toolkit
Whatever and however you do it, set aside time to prioritise the chat and minimise distractions.
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Anxiety? Try the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise together
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Bereavement? The CALM site has loads of help and advice to support you
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Stressed? Spend 15 mins going for a walk and clearing your head