Support a young person who’s struggling
Learn how to reach in and support a young person safely and effectively.
Remain close
A large part of being there for a young person is being consistently and regularly available to them. Once you’ve created a space where they feel comfortable to open up and share, they have a safety net and somewhere to go when things get too much.
But it doesn’t end there. Remaining close means monitoring things in the background as well as being present and available physically - keeping an eye on their behaviour and mood and being able to step in if something feels off.
The stuff a young person goes through varies from day to day or week to week. Something that phases them now, might be long forgotten next month. It’s normal to see young people have big reactions and big emotions to whatever they’re facing - but if they’re consistently struggling for long periods of time, or not moving past issues, it can be a sign that more support is needed.
If a young person is at immediate risk of harm or is not safe, call 999 or take them to A&E.
The NHS is clear that a mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a physical one. You will not be wasting anyone’s time.
What you can do to help
Find support and ways to move forward together
You don’t have to have all the answers, but you can help find support together. Young people are facing a whole host of challenges - and some of them won’t be familiar to you. It’s fine to say you don’t know and ask questions to help get up to speed. Find expert support for young people at the link.
Offer practical support and ask questions
The key is to be honest and open. Give them space to explain and then offer practical advice to find support together - whether that’s getting in touch with their GP, finding an organisation online with more information and support, or looking at ways to manage their mental wellbeing. Listen to the audio clip for more guidance on how to do this.
"Would you like to talk to a professional about how you're feeling? I can help you find someone."
"Have you spoken to anyone else about this, it’d be good to get support from experts too."
"Have you had any thoughts about what might help, or the sort of help you want from me and others?"
Respect their privacy if it's safe to do so
Trust is important but balance this with the need to intervene if they are in danger. Make it clear that their safety is your top priority and you might need others to help too.
Check in on progress and ask for updates
Once a young person has opened up and recognised you as someone to trust, make it easy for them to do so in the future. Let them know you’re always open to talking and give them clear ways to let you know when they need you.
Make sure you don’t leave everything on them. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it does need to be regular and easy for a young person to take you up on.
"How are you doing, do you fancy a check-in?"
"How did you get on with XYZ?’
"Let’s catch up, I’d love to hear how you’re doing."
Try to avoid these things
Don’t check in just once
You need to show that you are committed to being there for them. That means showing you genuinely care by going back to them regularly to see how they are, especially if they are showing you cause for concern.
Don’t ignore changes in mood and behaviour
Changes in a young person’s behaviour are common as they experiment and learn about themselves. They may change their interests or friendships quickly and without much fanfare. While this isn’t a reason to worry, checking in ensures safety and can keep you up to date with what’s going on in a young person’s life. It'll also help you spot when a change is something to be worried about.
Don’t assume someone has spoken to them
If something is wrong, make sure you take the lead and get the young person the help they need. You may be the first person to have noticed something is up, or the only person equipped with the knowledge to help.
Don’t forget about tech and social media
The impact of social media on young people’s mental health is much discussed. Who they follow and what they see can have a big impact on how they see the world, and how they view their own lives and achievements.
While it’s not possible to monitor every aspect of a young person’s online life, make sure you are up to date with how to stay safe online and have shared this information with the young people you spend time with.
Get vital emails full of life-saving skills
Sign up to get practical suicide-prevention support. Straight to your inbox.